~ this one's for the LADIES IN THE HOUSE!!! ~

Sing it Ladies!! Loud and proud!!

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French fry!
I should have known that it was bulls***t,

Just a sad pathetic dream
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those Jeans!

Go on now-go! , Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex,
With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! Hey! Hey!

Send this to all of the cool chicks you know,
And all the dude's who can handle this new remix...

~ It ain't tax free no more!! ~

This is quoted in the local paper today:

"Dubai: The introduction of the value added tax (VAT), expected early next year, will depend on the government's preparedness as well as the "taxpayers' readiness", a senior government official said.

"We are working on it and will soon be ready for implementation. The entire country will have to be ready for this," Abdul Rahman Al Saleh, executive director of Dubai Customs, told Gulf News on Monday evening. "It will depend on the government's readiness as well as the taxpayers' readiness."

Al Saleh told Reuters on Monday that the government has postponed the introduction of VAT from late 2008 to early 2009. "We were planning for the last quarter of 2008 but we have put it back to the first quarter of 2009," he was quoted as saying.

The GCC (Gulf Cooperation Council) states entered into a common customs union in 2003, after standardising the import duties largely at five per cent. Initially, VAT is expected to replace the customs duty and start at a very low tax level.

"The introduction of the VAT is a federal government decision. We will, of course, give the people enough time for this after we get ready for it administratively," Al Saleh added."

wwwwaaahhh!!!